Reasons why it sucks being an introvert in India

Social introverts
             It's not a contradiction 

 

I felt like most of the Indians don't even know what it means and even if they knew they think of it as a disease which needs to be cured. Yes, introverts get drained by socializing and recharge by being alone, extroverts are viewed as an extreme opposite to it. They view introverts as an weird species who came from different universe, but don't worry we all live under the same sky! Being an Introvert is not always about having social anxiety or being shy, it is something more than what people know. I have noticed many people around me trying to balance their personality and change into someone they are not.. all because of constant questions and society's expectations. Here are the few things i face on the daily basis :-

1. Always misjudged 

Silence is always considered as an act of rudeness and foolishness. People think you have some behavioral issue that you should be send to meet a psychologist! You often come across people passing comments such as "arrogant" and "attitude walla type!". Even after knowing them they again misjudge them as quite, awkward or the shy type but hey...

2. Forced to have lot of friends 

Man, kids these days..! They think it's a competition to have the most friends.
We are always advised to make friends with every person we meet.One common misconception about introverts is that they don't like people. While introverts typically do not enjoy a great deal of socializing, they do enjoy having a small group of friends to whom they are particularly close. Instead of having a large social circle of people they know only on a superficial level, introverts prefer to stick to deep, long-lasting relationships marked by a great deal of closeness and intimacy.

we are not anti-social , we're differently social!!

3. Easily becomes a gossip topic

You spice up content for the gossip mongers and Indian aunties and become a topic of discussion for reasons better left unknown to your kind soul.

4. Considered a loner

People have the misconception that an introvert means he has no one in his life, hardly realizing that though those who think so, might be social yet they have no one to call their own.

5. The struggle during family/ social gathering is real!

Avoiding talks with relatives is considered as "cold"and "disrespectful". Smiling and nodding is the only way we get pass them.Usually at such large gatherings I stay with the "most talkative" cousin. The good thing about such people is that they don't necessarily need either a "deep conversation" or "equal amount of dialogues". They are happy doing their monologues but I keep dropping "hmm" or "haan" or a smile after each of their line. Family get-togethers always leaves you exhausted.

Everybody started to tell me to open up, but I couldn't. I was good at details so I would have been assessing everyone behind my silence. I would have brought out their demons in my mind based on observations and not fantasy, even of the highly honoured one's of my family. I was sitting dumb in a corner of the hall while they blabber gibberish and non productive things with each other. And all they think of me is that I am a moron being to oneself, not enjoying life, socially and psychologically immature, a vampire in a human casing. Since I didn't respond much they would talk bad in front of me.

6. Extroverts are considered as Superior traits 

Indians have the conception that only those who talk can survive. Right from the childhood, i was taught to speak up and express my feelings freely to every person i met and often taught to be more socialized. A child with quite and reserved behavior is considered as abnormal , broken toy who need to be fixed. They force his/her to change as an extrovert but they fail to understand that will only create a world full of speakers without listeners!

Only speakers and out going people are considered as successful in our society. Introverts are marked as useless, cowards to fit in this wicked world, but let me remind you that some of the world’s top inventors who are also introverts. Believed to be the most intelligent people in the world, they prefer to be alone to focus on their craft.Bill Gates, Larry Page (founder of Google), Albert Einstein and Steve Wozniak (co-founder of Apple Computers) are all introverts.

7. Easily fall prey to bullies

Bullies take advantage of our quiet persona–speaking over us, gossiping about us, excluding us, and pushing us around.Some get frustrated because they can’t figure us out. Our silence irritates them. Consequently, they attempt to fill in the blanks and spread rumors. However introverts don't take them seriously and have their own way to handle them. 

8.  A myth that introverts hate people

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends within one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you as a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Actually introverts carry more love towards the people they treasure the most and once you earn their trust and respect no one can break your relationship!

In the end all i wanna say is.. lot of introverts are concerned because they think they don't fit in. The reason they think is because they compare themselves to extroverts who are a different species.The brains of extroverts and introverts actually handle dopamine differently so who you are in this respect is probably set from birth. So don't waste your life trying to be someone whom you are not. When you learn to understand your personality, and you make it a priority to get the quiet time you need, it becomes a source of strength. You can draw on your introversion to be thoughtful, observant, a good listener, a creative thinker, a beloved friend and lover.  😀💗